First lets set the mood

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.

"But why?," they asked, as they moved off.

"Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."


   Teacher Arrested!

   At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual later discovered to
 be a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while
 in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule, and a

  At a morning press conference, Attorney general John Ashcroft said he
 believes the man is a member of the notorious al-gebra movement. He is
 being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

    "Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," Ashcroft said. "They desire average
 solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a
 search of absolute value. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y'
 and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined they
 belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with
 coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles
 used to say, 'there are 3 sides to every triangle'."

    When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God
 had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have
 given us more fingers and toes."

Links (As I find them):

Scientific names gone funny.